While the world clamoured over where Princess Catherine was, shared conspiracy theories about photoshopped images and basically lost its mind. I watched The Great British Bake Off. Now firstly, I wish Catherine all the healing in the world, what a shitty thing to happen but can we please move on and leave her and her family the hell alone? and honestly who gives two honks about photoshopped pictures either? There are more important things to focus on like my first attempt at Paul Hollywood’s Soda Bread recipe. A famous Irish bread heralding from the Victorian Era, it is made quickly by combining flour, salt, buttermilk and bicarbonate soda. Sounds delicious? Trust me it is. Now because I was following Paul ‘blue eyes that bore into your soul’ Hollywood’s recipe where he suggests, once you have the hang of the basic bread recipe to try adding raw onion and vintage cheese, I added said raw onion and cheese on my first attempt. I am not patient. I have never made a loaf of bread that wasn’t doughy or undercooked and this was no exception. It looked appealing enough and despite my lack of baking success, it was tasty indeed! My son did say it tasted ‘too vegetably,’ but my daughter wolfed it down asking me to make it again. This I will do, one, because I quite enjoy baking and two, because everything is so fucking expensive these days! I could buy a shit loaf of Wonder White for $3.50, which I am not bagging, this bread has its place (fairy bread anyone?) but to fill my kid’s stomachs, I need something more substantial and who can afford sourdough anymore? Who can afford anything anymore? Unless you are part of the 1%. I did a tiny top up shop yesterday, came home with basically nothing and it cost me $100. It is madness and I am mad about it. I know there is an inquiry going on about supermarket prices but in the meantime, families struggle to put food on the table. It did tickle my fancy when out of touch (former) CEO of Woolworths Brad Banducci completely stuffed up his Four Corners interview about price gouging and was forced to resign. But the prices are still sky high. I’d go on Bake Off to make some dough (see what I did there?) even though I can’t bake but all they get is a cake stand. Oh, and the book deals and TV opportunities...hmm maybe? Maybe I could go on Wheel of Fortune? I hear Graham Norton is hosting it over in the UK for Australia? Is that correct. Well, I’d have to go to the UK I guess but who can afford a passport renewal? Plus, I don’t watch ‘normal’ TV except for some cheeky MAFS on 9play. Can anyone stand Jack or Jono? There has to be some way to combat the insane cost of living. I do almost all I can being a homebody, who has a small, slightly ineffective vegetable garden, chickens and a baking habit but it’s not enough. Is there a market for Only Fans - Bad Bakers? I’ll investigate. I realise I have gone on some tangents here, but I have ADHD, so who could blame me. And I am speaking in jest, my bread making attempts are not important at all. Till next time. Free Palestine. Peace
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