While the world clamoured over where Princess Catherine was, shared conspiracy theories about photoshopped images and basically lost its mind. I watched The Great British Bake Off. Now firstly, I wish Catherine all the healing in the world, what a shitty thing to happen but can we please move on and leave her and her family the hell alone? and honestly who gives two honks about photoshopped pictures either? There are more important things to focus on like my first attempt at Paul Hollywood’s Soda Bread recipe. A famous Irish bread heralding from the Victorian Era, it is made quickly by combining flour, salt, buttermilk and bicarbonate soda. Sounds delicious? Trust me it is. Now because I was following Paul ‘blue eyes that bore into your soul’ Hollywood’s recipe where he suggests, once you have the hang of the basic bread recipe to try adding raw onion and vintage cheese, I added said raw onion and cheese on my first attempt. I am not patient. I have never made a loaf of bread that wasn’t doughy or undercooked and this was no exception. It looked appealing enough and despite my lack of baking success, it was tasty indeed! My son did say it tasted ‘too vegetably,’ but my daughter wolfed it down asking me to make it again. This I will do, one, because I quite enjoy baking and two, because everything is so fucking expensive these days! I could buy a shit loaf of Wonder White for $3.50, which I am not bagging, this bread has its place (fairy bread anyone?) but to fill my kid’s stomachs, I need something more substantial and who can afford sourdough anymore? Who can afford anything anymore? Unless you are part of the 1%. I did a tiny top up shop yesterday, came home with basically nothing and it cost me $100. It is madness and I am mad about it. I know there is an inquiry going on about supermarket prices but in the meantime, families struggle to put food on the table. It did tickle my fancy when out of touch (former) CEO of Woolworths Brad Banducci completely stuffed up his Four Corners interview about price gouging and was forced to resign. But the prices are still sky high. I’d go on Bake Off to make some dough (see what I did there?) even though I can’t bake but all they get is a cake stand. Oh, and the book deals and TV opportunities...hmm maybe? Maybe I could go on Wheel of Fortune? I hear Graham Norton is hosting it over in the UK for Australia? Is that correct. Well, I’d have to go to the UK I guess but who can afford a passport renewal? Plus, I don’t watch ‘normal’ TV except for some cheeky MAFS on 9play. Can anyone stand Jack or Jono? There has to be some way to combat the insane cost of living. I do almost all I can being a homebody, who has a small, slightly ineffective vegetable garden, chickens and a baking habit but it’s not enough. Is there a market for Only Fans - Bad Bakers? I’ll investigate. I realise I have gone on some tangents here, but I have ADHD, so who could blame me. And I am speaking in jest, my bread making attempts are not important at all. Till next time. Free Palestine. Peace
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Children ruined my Career There I said it, they killed it dead in its tracks. I agree wholeheartedly with Lily Allen. In case you missed it, she recently said in an interview, "I never really had a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career. I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop-stardom, they totally ruined it.” Now I don’t have Lily Allen’s fame, money, celebrity status or David Harbour as a husband, but I am also a singer, actor, blah blah blah. Or I was until I had my kids. Once they came along, any resemblance of a creative career for me went by the wayside. Having a neurodiverse son was part of it, but let’s face it, when it comes to kids and domestic duties, the majority if not all of the responsibility falls on the woman most of the time. It’s not right, it's not fair, in fact it’s a load of toss but it is how it is. It was and is difficult for me to see the world move on, to see careers take off, or at least maintain a status quo while mine is laying in a ditch by the M4 choking on exhaust fumes, but like Lily Allen, I made a choice. As she said, “Some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative, but my parents were quite absent when I was a kid. I feel that really left some nasty scars that I’m not willing to repeat on mine. I chose stepping back and concentrating on them and I’m glad I’ve done that.” Same here Lily, same here. I did choose to put my kids first and still do, but to be brutally honest, I also don’t have a choice. I have no family to help me and have 100% care of my kids, so when the fuck would I have time to get out there and perform? I could have hired babysitter’s, but my neurodiverse son wouldn’t have coped with that. I could have done it anyway, but as I said, I put them first. I was a latchkey kid, born in the 70s and a teenager in the 80s, there are so many things I love about the 80’s but the absence of parenting was not one of them, there are many things I did, or that I experienced that I wish had not happened, so I chose to do things very differently. Now I don’t think I deserve a medal for doing so, I applaud women who can make strides in their careers (yeah I’m jealous too) and manage a family but that simply wasn’t the case for me. Having a messy brain doesn’t help, I get overwhelmed easily, so trying to juggle too much just means I shut down and sit in paralysis and that sucks. There is only so much I can handle on my own. However, my kids are getting older, (imagine that!) the youngest twelve now, so slowly I will be able to reclaim some time for my creative work and the blessing is, that the bond I have with my kids, the connection, the memories, the love is so bloody strong, I know I am lucky as fuck. So, here’s to women who can ‘have it all’ I don’t know how you do it! I’ll just sit here with my tea thinking Lily Allen and I are friends and that David Harbour has a nice single brother… Alas, that is a paradox. A Gen X brain is rarely balanced because we grew up without any mental health support at all. Not even a conversation over a cuppa and a bikkie. Not a single Zoloft in sight. What a rort right? We grew up, ‘getting on with it’ and consequently grew up tough and independent. These are not bad traits I don’t believe, but we do spend hours in therapy trying to understand why we were allowed to watch Freddy Kruger at age 9, stay home alone for hours at 10, go out clubbing at 14 and basically live lives devoid of parenting and emotional support. (or is it just me?) We can’t blame our parents too much, that’s just the way it was. They worked, they had a mortgage to pay. They were also ignored by their parents, so they didn’t know much better. No one recognised depression, anxiety, bipolar, autism, ADHD or if they did it was all hush hush. Too much shame, too much unknown. ‘Cheer Up, you’ll be right’ right? ‘He is just naughty!’ ‘She is weird!’ I didn’t get any of my diagnosis until I was in my 20’s when I took myself off to the Dr to find out why I struggled so much. I wonder if I was given support as a kid, if things would have been different? Maybe, but I don’t wallow… anymore. I think you have to embrace whatever it is that makes you you. Get the help and support you need, talk about it, take your meds, don’t be shamed, live a healthy life and don’t beat yourself up. I lived in shame for many years due to the stigma around mental illness and the weaponisation of my diagnosis against me by people who wanted fodder for their abusive behaviour. But I’m too smart for that now, too feisty and ‘independent’. See after all, what a good thing to be! I’ve grown into someone formidable, in my mind at least anyway. I don’t care if I am told I am too loud, too opinionated, too old, too fat, too nasty, too nice, too, too emotional, too independent, too anything. I have earned that right, to be all and any of those things. I’m drawn to strong women, women who speak their mind, who speak up for others, who are considered slightly unhinged because they have confidence. Women who speak up are often viciously silenced. It’s boring. So don’t be silent. Be authentically you. Warts and All Baby. As for my brain, it’s a work in progress, but I love the damn thing. Peace. |
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