It’s already March, how the hell did that happen? The vaccine is rolling out, the Royals are racist, and misogyny runs riot in MAFS. Good lord, I need a lie down. In my own little part of the world, I am restarting my garden after months of neglect. You see the thing with bipolar is, when you are manic or hypomanic you get a lot done. You start a lot of projects; you can conquer the world. When the high is over, the fall is great and things are discarded, neglected and forgotten. It’s a wild ride I didn’t ask for ticket on but here I am. The garden is a healing place for me, hands in soil, watching things grow, often failing, I enjoy it all. It is where I turn when I need the most healing. I am also home schooling one child, not hugely successfully but we are doing our best. Mental health comes first in this home, for all of us. My other offspring is starting at a new school today, a resilient warrior she is. I am finding new ways to simplify my life, and exploring other avenues to bring money in since work is out of the question while I have my eldest home. Writing, surveys, ebay… I’m doing all the things. I am transforming my little home into a sanctuary, buying more plants, eating better food. All of it helps. The depression was real this last time round, the weight of it was overwhelming but I hang in there, drink more coffee, reach out to friends and pray to whomever to get through it all. I’ve made it this far, I can keep going. Single parenting is one of the hardest things I have ever done but also, cliché ahead, the most rewarding. My kids are fucking awesome and our bond is tight. I salute all the single parents out there, especially the mummas. Because let’s face it, we are usually the ones left holding the ball right? We are the ones with less money, less opportunity, more if not all the responsibility, less or no time to date, (but Jesus, who’d want too) We are called bossy, whingey, hysterical, aggressive for being strong independent women, it’s exhausting. Inequality is rank and never ending. International Women’s Day just passed and the Australian Governments disregard for women was vulgar and sad, they should hang their heads in shame. Thank god for the Grace Tames of the world. (look her up) It’s a lot. So I retreat, back to the soil, the seedlings, I dodge chickens as they run around my feet, the kids collect eggs, pick strawberries and I hold them close. Off now for another coffee and a maths lesson. Peace
0 Comments
|
Writer. Bipolar Rambler. Archives
March 2024
Categories
All
|