Alas, that is a paradox. A Gen X brain is rarely balanced because we grew up without any mental health support at all. Not even a conversation over a cuppa and a bikkie. Not a single Zoloft in sight. What a rort right? We grew up, ‘getting on with it’ and consequently grew up tough and independent. These are not bad traits I don’t believe, but we do spend hours in therapy trying to understand why we were allowed to watch Freddy Kruger at age 9, stay home alone for hours at 10, go out clubbing at 14 and basically live lives devoid of parenting and emotional support. (or is it just me?) We can’t blame our parents too much, that’s just the way it was. They worked, they had a mortgage to pay. They were also ignored by their parents, so they didn’t know much better. No one recognised depression, anxiety, bipolar, autism, ADHD or if they did it was all hush hush. Too much shame, too much unknown. ‘Cheer Up, you’ll be right’ right? ‘He is just naughty!’ ‘She is weird!’ I didn’t get any of my diagnosis until I was in my 20’s when I took myself off to the Dr to find out why I struggled so much. I wonder if I was given support as a kid, if things would have been different? Maybe, but I don’t wallow… anymore. I think you have to embrace whatever it is that makes you you. Get the help and support you need, talk about it, take your meds, don’t be shamed, live a healthy life and don’t beat yourself up. I lived in shame for many years due to the stigma around mental illness and the weaponisation of my diagnosis against me by people who wanted fodder for their abusive behaviour. But I’m too smart for that now, too feisty and ‘independent’. See after all, what a good thing to be! I’ve grown into someone formidable, in my mind at least anyway. I don’t care if I am told I am too loud, too opinionated, too old, too fat, too nasty, too nice, too, too emotional, too independent, too anything. I have earned that right, to be all and any of those things. I’m drawn to strong women, women who speak their mind, who speak up for others, who are considered slightly unhinged because they have confidence. Women who speak up are often viciously silenced. It’s boring. So don’t be silent. Be authentically you. Warts and All Baby. As for my brain, it’s a work in progress, but I love the damn thing. Peace.
2 Comments
I confess I like almost every other parent in Australia tried to score Swift tickets for my daughter. I lost days of my life to this. That bloody Ticketek, I never want to see it ever again. What a cruel bitch it is. I tried other sites but got scared after Ticketek told us they wouldn’t let us in if we had those tickets. I almost got scammed on Facebook, I tried the last minute resells, I entered every competition I could find, and I failed. At all of it. I saw people who had tickets trying to get more tickets to go twice, that pissed me off. But what really pissed me off was how expensive it all was. Let’s consider that a huge proportion of Swift’s fan base are tweens, and some tickets were literally a thousand and up, it felt cruel. She has such a loyal and dedicated fan base who would do anything to get tickets, including going into debt, going without food, putting themselves in very shitty financial situations all to score tickets to Tay Tay. And Swift, who I completely acknowledge is working her ass off, is getting billions out of this. I also acknowledge she has a lot of people to pay and touring costs a lot of money but still... Then there’s the merchandise, $40 for a plastic drink bottle? $40 for an oversized tea towel? Come on. People can’t even afford to live right now. Its gross. When did everything become so expensive. When did it cost $20000 to see your favourite artist perform, as I have seen one man pay. When did Air BnB’s start cancelling bookings so they could relist at twice the price? It is insane. I sincerely hope everyone who goes along gets their money’s worth and has a damn good time. I mean she is performing for over 3 hours. I hope people don’t get smashed with hail as the Sydney weather is predicting. I hope beautiful memories are made, but I’m still pissed. I do feel conflicted about my bitterness, I am all for raising up other women, or so I thought. Maybe if we had succeeded and I was going to the concert I wouldn’t feel so cynical? But I couldn’t help but feel it was a little off using the Grammys to announce her next album. It is a night to celebrate ALL artists and in that moment, it became the Taylor show. But then again, the world is the Taylor show right now isn’t it? And maybe I am just being sour, maybe jealous? I mean on the flip side, bloody good on her, she is killing it. So now I am avoiding social media until she fucks off out of the country as it only makes me feel worse seeing all the videos of the concert we didn’t get to see. So don’t send me any videos, I’ll just pout and complain. #cruelsummer #badblood #lookwhatyoumademedo |
Writer. Bipolar Rambler. Archives
March 2024
Categories
All
|