I confess I like almost every other parent in Australia tried to score Swift tickets for my daughter. I lost days of my life to this. That bloody Ticketek, I never want to see it ever again. What a cruel bitch it is. I tried other sites but got scared after Ticketek told us they wouldn’t let us in if we had those tickets. I almost got scammed on Facebook, I tried the last minute resells, I entered every competition I could find, and I failed. At all of it. I saw people who had tickets trying to get more tickets to go twice, that pissed me off. But what really pissed me off was how expensive it all was. Let’s consider that a huge proportion of Swift’s fan base are tweens, and some tickets were literally a thousand and up, it felt cruel. She has such a loyal and dedicated fan base who would do anything to get tickets, including going into debt, going without food, putting themselves in very shitty financial situations all to score tickets to Tay Tay. And Swift, who I completely acknowledge is working her ass off, is getting billions out of this. I also acknowledge she has a lot of people to pay and touring costs a lot of money but still... Then there’s the merchandise, $40 for a plastic drink bottle? $40 for an oversized tea towel? Come on. People can’t even afford to live right now. Its gross. When did everything become so expensive. When did it cost $20000 to see your favourite artist perform, as I have seen one man pay. When did Air BnB’s start cancelling bookings so they could relist at twice the price? It is insane. I sincerely hope everyone who goes along gets their money’s worth and has a damn good time. I mean she is performing for over 3 hours. I hope people don’t get smashed with hail as the Sydney weather is predicting. I hope beautiful memories are made, but I’m still pissed. I do feel conflicted about my bitterness, I am all for raising up other women, or so I thought. Maybe if we had succeeded and I was going to the concert I wouldn’t feel so cynical? But I couldn’t help but feel it was a little off using the Grammys to announce her next album. It is a night to celebrate ALL artists and in that moment, it became the Taylor show. But then again, the world is the Taylor show right now isn’t it? And maybe I am just being sour, maybe jealous? I mean on the flip side, bloody good on her, she is killing it. So now I am avoiding social media until she fucks off out of the country as it only makes me feel worse seeing all the videos of the concert we didn’t get to see. So don’t send me any videos, I’ll just pout and complain. #cruelsummer #badblood #lookwhatyoumademedo
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I took my daughter to her very first concert last night - Melanie Martinez. Now I didn’t know a hell of a lot about Melanie but I did know in her current incarnation she wore odd looking masks and costumes, which I loved, I liked what I had heard of her music and I was very intrigued. My daughter is a huge fan and was beyond excited and considering I like a million other parents failed to get Swift tickets, I was glad I could do this for her.
I vaguely remember my first concert, it was The Cockroaches (now known as The Wiggles) and some other Aussie bands I can’t remember now. Maybe The Radiators? But my kids are kind of impressed when I tell them who I have seen in concert being a Gen X kid. Especially Michael Jackson, because he is probably the one 80’s artist they know the best, and sadly not for his music alone. They stare blankly when I say, ‘Hey I also saw Cyndi Lauper, Prince, Pearl Jam, Kylie Minogue, Pink, Stevie Wonder, Chaka Khan, U2, KISS, Dandy Warhols, Tegan and Sara, Indigo Girls’ and others I don’t recall. I get it, I’m old. But experiencing the moment of my daughters first ever concert, sharing that with her was all kinds of wonderful. The venue was packed full of gorgeously dressed humans, not a single person didn’t shine with some sort of magic and excitement. It felt safe and beautiful. The support act Upsahl was on bloody fire! I had never heard of her, but she was brilliant, and we were both instant fans. But the room exploded (not literally) when Melanie came on, my ears are still ringing, my daughters voice hoarse. Onto stage came this tiny (we were far from the stage) little pixie with four eyes and huge ears accompanied by four stunning dancers. It was theatrical and magical. We were transported to another dimension, which was the whole point being the album was titled Portals and it was the Portals tour. The songs were gorgeous too, her voice relaxed and unique. I didn’t know that she once graced the stage on The Voice subsequently choosing Adam Levine as her mentor. I just watched her initial audition, hang on, correction, it wasn’t an audition but a completely polished performance. You could easily see what a creative force and star she was at only 17 years old. Check it out. But most of all, most importantly, my daughter had the time of her life. Melanie is by far her favourite artist, even over Taylor. She cried, sung, screamed and gushed love and appreciation all night. She clutched her overpriced merch with passion and I know it is a memory forever imprinted in her mind and I am part of that! What a fucking privilege. So, thank you Melanie, and please come back soon. You brought so much love and magic to us and thank you for ending the night with a show of support for Palestine and our queer community. Ps – If you could find your way to send my daughter some of the confetti you release at the end of the show, she would be ecstatic. Unfortunately when we went to retrieve some, the security wouldn’t let us. #freepalestine #melaniemartinez #portals #portalstouraustralia #sydney #pride #queer #music #thevoice #talent #memories #magic #beauty #upsahl #thewiggles #thecockroaches I used to love constant change, I found it thrilling and exciting. I sought it out. Who wants to be boring I’d think, not me! I’d blame it on my star sigh, I’m a Gemini, we are a feisty lot, creative and needing lots of stimulation, we have two sides, which one will I be today? Partners would blame my love of change on my bipolar, ‘You only want to break up because you’re bipolar,’ or ‘Everything is your fault because of your brain.’ Steady on mate, I don’t see your degree, nor your hours and hours spent in therapy picking apart said brain. I break up with you because you are not good for me, I make decisions and mistakes because I am human, just like you, but at least I am making them. It's easy to sit on that high horse and throw little stones, you can’t even be bothered to pick up the rocks, too much effort, you’re lazy like that. There is no one more critical of me than me. As I said I used to love and crave change, I can be hard to keep up with if you’re the wrong type. In many ways I still do, but I have learnt to find value in the consistency that comes with certain phases of life. When you are a single parent, or perhaps just a parent in general? there isn’t a huge amount of wiggle room with the daily ins and outs. You have to clean the house, you have to feed the kids, you have to make some money, you have to get kids to school and to appointments, to bed, you have to pay all the bills, do all the shopping, be everything because you are on your own… there is a lot of ‘same.’ I am in the ‘same’ phase now. My kids need consistency, they need to feel safe and steady, so this ship I am steering, I am diverting away from the icebergs because we don’t need to go down like the ill-fated Titanic. RIP. I’m pushing for routines, early bedtimes, better meals, quiet time, rest, conversations, I’m listening hard because they deserve to be heard. This is my Mother phase, I am motherless, so I am navigating this without a map. My Maiden phase is now long behind me, it was fun for a time. Some days I feel more like I am in my Crone phase, age wise I am getting close, or perhaps I just wish I was because I am weary. I wish to sleep with the moon and rise with the sun, to drink tea in my garden without care, to have completely, once and for all let go of all those who trouble me, knowing I have done my time and owe no one. To sit in the sun with my eyes closed, to let my stomach out, that stomach bloated from childbirth and age. To turn grey gracefully, although they are yet to appear, to move slower because I have the time. To cackle delightfully because I am considered the mad village witch, that would please me. To write my spooky stories and sing my spooky songs, because it’s what I love to do. To be at peace knowing my kids are happy and healthy human beings because of the work I put in. To know that every sacrifice I made was bloody worth it, because they are worth it. I look forward to the Crone. But I am Mother right now and always will be of course, although my role will reduce. So, I settle in, being present in this moment because before long it will pass. I know change will come, when it is time, but not yet. I pull on the reins and ask my horses to wait a little longer. I don’t want to miss a minute. That itching under my skin to change is still there, it always is. But we have a deal. Change needs to take a time out for a while so I can parent the way I want to parent. It is mostly okay with that because it understands. We as humans, move through phases in life and some are harder than others, some feel like you won’t make it through but we do, mostly. As we age the phases become a little scarier, because as a species we are too aware of our mortality. But we can look at that awareness as a gift, we can savour the moments, the phases, embrace them all before our time runs out. Hopefully we have a good few years before it does. So for now, the Mother continues on, the Crone lies in wait and I smile my crooked smile because I know I am blessed. Perhaps you’ll see me years from now, I’ll be the one riding the night sky on my broom, cackling away, sprinkling magic dust over you all. Peace. |
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March 2024
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