Prince Philip died this week.
The image of the Queen sitting alone, head down, dressed in black, by her late husband’s coffin is heartbreaking. I’m not a big fan or follower of the Royals but what broke my heart is that a woman who has been in a marriage with someone for 73 years just lost that person. I don’t know if they liked each other anymore, I haven’t even watched The Crown. But that is a LONG time to spend in companionship with someone. The image made me cry, it made me long for something but for what? I was married, but no more. A 73 year marriage is never going to happen for me, I doubt I would even want it too. However, my inner romantic sometimes longs for a companion, a lifelong companion to hold hands with throughout all of life’s ups and downs. I know in reality relationships are hard work and women are usually let down by the men in their lives as they carry the burden of almost everything, the cooking, cleaning, childcare, ‘husband’ care, washing, family admin, loss of identity and so on… yet still, besides this part of me wants someone to grow old with, to die with, to mourn or to be mourned by. Is it the fairy tales we are fed as young girls? Am I, as I approach 50 still waiting for my Prince? I’m way too cynical to believe in being rescued by a man, nor would I want to be. The feminist in me is strong, my tolerance for baby men is non-existent yet, still, occasionally I wouldn’t mind having a decent one around. I love my own company, I need time alone. I don’t do dating apps, no judgement, they are just not for me. I am happy in the garden, with a book, a good film, my friends and animals, the list of things I adore is endless. So maybe I’m not missing out on anything? Maybe it is just a fairy tale? Maybe it’s just patriarchy telling us that we are not complete without a partner? I hope the Queen finds peace, it has been a rough few years for the Royals.
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